Some of you may be aware that I’ve done a lot of work & play with Primal Hardwere’s Splorch, one of their line of ovipositor dildos — egg laying sex toys.  I have some tips for taking your ovipositor even further; this is based off of my experience with Splorch, but may apply well to any of their fantastic egg depositing toys.  

Make The INSERTION Fun
The insertion itself should be full of build up & eroticism. The actual act of laying the egg takes only a few seconds, while the prep of creating eggs & loading them is quite lengthy — so you will want to draw it out to really have fun with this and relish the experience. Slide the toy in slowly. Feel the egg stretching the orifice. Leave it, and Splorch inside for a while before withdrawing it. If you are with a partner, the two of you can engage in other activities while Splorch & the egg is inside. Slow down and enjoy the experience.

Ice Eggs
You can create eggs out of pure ice simply by filling your egg mold with water  & freezing them overnight. You could consider some naughty ideas with this — adding a SMALL amount of an herbal tea solution, like ginger, to give a tingly masochistic sensation (tolerance will vary from person to person — test a small amount at a time before trying an entire egg!) to the vagina or to the anus. You could also deliver an enema solution of your choice. Frozen plain coffee melting inside of the intestines will cause cramping and a strong “cleansing” effect. A tiny bit of Dr Bronner’s Peppermint soap in water, frozen, will give a nice clean fresh smelling enema. Be warned, you don’t want to put too many eggs inside for long — the bottom could end up QUITE chilled…  One, or maybe two for an experienced player, and expelled once the bottom becomes at all uncomfortable. Players who are familiar with ice cube play would be the best candidate — do research before laying your ice eggs!!

Coconut Oil Eggs
Many have come to me and asked about a safer option than gelatin eggs for vaginal insertion, as people who are very prone to yeast infections may have trouble with the gelatin eggs. Coconut oil “suppositories” made in the egg mold is a PERFECT option. Most people report that coconut oil is great for vaginal balance — many even use it to treat or prevent yeast infections. Your mileage may vary. Ask your gynecologist if you have any questions or are very prone to yeast infections. That said, simply fill the egg mold with warm/soft coconut oil, and then place it in the fridge or freezer to harden up. Cold coconut oil becomes VERY firm — but will still safely melt in the body. As a perk, it also suffices as a lubricant as it melts! (Of course, don’t ever use any rubber-based toys or condoms with any type of oil. Oil degrades rubber.)

Glycerin Lube For Forced Egg Laying
Consider taking eggs of your choice (gelatin, ice, silicone?) and covering them, and the inside of Splorch, with a pharmaceutical grade (USP) glycerin. If used anally, glycerin is a powerful laxative — the urge to expel the eggs will rapidly grow, creating the sensation of a genuine alien birth!

Using Splorch as A Vaginal Or Anal Douche
I discovered that one of my sports water bottles fit *PERFECTLY* in the base of Splorch — a bit of leaking, but I think some teflon or rubber tape on the threads would fix that. Anyways, though, when the water bottle is squeezed, you can administer a hearty douche right through Splorch. See it being used vaginally as a douche, here.

Using Splorch As An Enema Nozzle
I was able to discover that one of my premium silicone enema nozzles from Silicone Nozzles fit perfectly inside Splorch — a tight fit, but stayed once lubricated. After that, a the enema nozzle was used as usual. Splorch served as a beautiful naughty sleeve, providing thickness, texture, squishiness. See it being used as an enema nozzle, here.

Using Splorch As A “Regular” Dildo
To make it easier to use your Splorch WITHOUT eggs, I recommend placing a large condom (magnum XLs are a great choice) over the entire toy, blocking off the large hollow hole in the center (”the egg hole” as I call it.).  I have also used the enema nozzle inside it as described above, but just for penetration — no enema — to create a firm core and making Splorch into a proper dildo.

Making Eggs Out Of Cake Pop Molds
Rather than using the egg molds that Primal Hardwere sent with Splorch, sometimes I will use a cake pop mold which looks very similar to this model, here.  The slightly smaller shape makes them easier to lay, and it also provides a greater quantity of eggs.

Fucking With The Eggs Inside 
Consider that all kinds of mischief can be caused other than just placing eggs inside and then “birthing” them. One idea is that a bottom could be filled anally with eggs, and then could be penetrated vaginally while retaining the eggs — or vice versa, giving an incredibly full double penetration sensation. Another option is that the intestines could be full of eggs, and then normal anal intercourse could occur — giving fascinating full sensations. Often, anal “birthing” may occur as soon as the penetrating toy or penis is removed, though, so make sure a towel is ready….

I hope this article will clear up some questions about how you use this toy, and expand the horizons of those who already own one. Splorch can be incredibly versatile if you use it creatively. Please share this with your friends.

Splorch was created by Primal Hardwere, and you can find their line of egg-laying toys here. 

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